love stored inside can make you sick!!

it is true.. ABSOLUTELY TRUE!!!

so, why keep it when you actually have all the chance in the world to let him/her know your true feelings?!?!

be proud of the love that you have inside!!!

keeping it, will do you no good. admitting it though may not do you any good, because of rejection, but at least the what ifs will be answered and at the same time you became true to yourself.

being rejected may be hard to accept, but it is much harder living your life knowing that you have all the chance in the world but you just blew it, that you just trashed it because you're too scared. tapos malalaman mo in d future na at that very moment he/she feels the same way about you. AW. ang saklap!! parang dinurog ang puso mo... mamatay matay ka sa kakatanggi at kakatago tapos mahal ka din pala niya!! RAWR!!

(laters!! gutom na ko... haha)

San Lazaro.... rawr!!

sincere 2 (not sure kung 2 nga... hehe)

Thank you sa Sincere 2 & 3 and kay Ma'am Barron!!
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thanks to d ff:
Ineng, TP, Rowie, Nino, Jeff, Rina, Marg, Girlie, Jem, Jamie, Cassy
.
I had so much fun... Never had a moment of loneliness with you guys. You never made me feel that i was just a free lancer. hehe. love ko na kayo! naks! (hehehe. love ko pa rin syempre ung KALAHATI ng Loyal 3)

watch out for more details...!!!

Church Anniversaries... (San Antonio & Santol)

"Give a little love & it all comes back to you...

we're all goin' to be remembered for the things we SAY and DO."

-coke

our so called... "musical instruments"

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hahaha. i had fun blowing the coke bottles... i always thought it was kind of silly but i still did it, and i actually had so much fun.

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we did this "bottle blowing" (as ralph called it) during the talentong kristiyano... we played "Tayo Sana'y Manatili." and we did it for the glory of the Lord.

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it was a new experience for all of us. At first we had a hard time producing sounds... ika nga, "practice makes perfect" and aun... tadah!! kahit saan kami mapunta basta may bote, sige ihip!! hahaha. na-adik na!! we are actually planning on doing it again on our church anniversary this coming december, kaya WATCH OUT!!

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taken @ Santol COC... its the Church 19th Anniversary... f8's not in d pic.

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MY BLOWMATES (huh???) ARE:

DO & FA --> Gracelyn

RE & SOL --> Ayie

MI & higher MI --> Rica

LA & higher RE --> Meeeh

TI --> Biboy

higher DO --> Faith

higher DO sub. --> Jonelle

. HAPPY 19th ANNIVERSARY SANTOL CHURCH of CHRIST

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the word CHRIST in the picture was spelled out with hands... lots of hands



(too busy to post...)

more details... coming up!! hehe

visas... visas..VISAS!!

the other day... i was so busy... pero isa lang ang nakapagpatumba sa kin. ang movie na Armageddon. this movie never fails to make me cry... /sob.

the funny thing is, i just realized that i always wish the same thing after seeing this movie...

"I wish to have someone watching armageddon beside me."

it may sound shallow but what i really meant by those words are...
" i wish to have someone whom i can cry my heart out. someone who will not leave my side and watch me until i fall asleep. someone who doesn't want to close his eyes because he doesn't want to miss anything." (shallow pa din)

parang kanta lang... yeah, yeah. kanta nga!! this movie made me love aerosmiths
"I Don't Want To Miss A Thing" (no further explanations... its obvious why!)

putchang movie toh! everytime i finished watching it, it always makes me long to have someone. kaya lang syempre, erase, erase, erase. bad idea!! hadlang sa mga pangarap ko!! (nyay!! JOKE! hahaha) hays... ganda tlga ng cleft chin ni Ben Affleck!

.

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-=0o0=-

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i wish someone, just one, in this world will be able to understand how i feel...

someone who will comfort me...

someone who will make me feel pure bliss...

someone who will give me importance...

someone who is willing to give the time just to be with me...

someone who will love me as me...

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i wish that, that someone exists...

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(ang labo ko!!! contradicting mga pinagsasasabi ko!!!) haha

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------
im done denying visas... not really!
im done applying... i really haven't done that.
im done processing papers... im not having fun processing it!
im done reconsidering denied visas... il just deny it all over again.
incomplete papers... go home!!
former immigrants... try again later.
tnt's... dont try again.
interested applicants... make sure your papers are complete.

SELL yourself!! CONVINCE me that your an ASSET to my heart. aw!!

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-=0o0=-

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"One cannot question the existence of feelings.

they are there, raw and undeniable.

But one can choose not to nurture what is felt.

yet, no matter what they say,

what has been felt will always be more honest than what was chosen.

hence, true realities are not built by the mind but by the heart.

so if you're caught between what your mind thinks is right and what your heart feels is right, it is always safer to follow your heart... "

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-inday

trial and error...lessons learned.

as promised, here's the story of the story that should not have been told. wehehehe

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i've been single for a bout a year and a half now. never had a bf. (when i say bf it means, legal bf. haha) but i did have this relationship with a guy...

i met im him in a funeral. (astig! haha) we have this common friend. so basically, we ended up being friends, too... we became close. like most friends do, we had our outing (kelangan isingit tong outing na toh, need sa story. haha) .people noticed our closeness and started teasing us. they thought that we are a couple.

2 weeks after the outing...
friend1: kelan naging kau?
me: huh? di nmn kami e.
friend1: ows?? kelan nga?
me: di nga, tanungin mo pa sya.
friend1: kelan naging kayo?
guy: nun 15 (it was d date of the outing)
friend1: 15 pala naging kayo e. hahaha
me: huh? 15? ah, ok.(count d "ah, ok") cge 15. hahaha

i did not take it seriously... (kitam my haha). for me, it was a typical joke time day of the tropa. naki-ride na lang ako...

a week after...
friend2:kau na pla e noh...
me: (iling...)
guy: oo
friend2: nu date nyo?
guy: 15.
me: 15? as in april 15? 3 weeks na tau?? hahaha.
guy: oo.
me: ganun? ah, ok. (2) hahaha

again... i didn't not take it seriously... i just laughed.

friend3(common friend): kau na pla e noh...
me: oo, daw. nagulat na lang ako e.
friend3: hamo na sya. gusto ka nmn talga nun...
me: eh, joke time lang nmn un diba?!

friend3: sineryoso ata, tuwang tuwa e.

me: ah, anu yon. instant bf?? hindi ako ganun e.
friend3: pagbigyan mo na muna... try mo kung may mangyayari. kapag wala edi ibreak mo.
me: ganun? e hindi talaga ako ganun...

friend3: laki ng pinagbago nun... pagbigyan mo na.

me: (isip) ah, ok.(3) wehehehe...

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it was may 14, i had a party at home. we talked...
me:uhm, talaga bang 1 month na tau bukas? (super wondering)
guy: oo. (smile)
me: ahhh, ok. (4)

a that moment... i realized that i was in a relationship that i never planned of having. i was in a very unfamiliar situation. having a relationship without courtship, without anything... without feelings... (although crush ko sya, still, it wasn't enough.) it's not me. NOT ME!!!
.

GO!

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ok!! an idea popped out of my head. "why not try something i 've never done my whole life" since im single, cge na nga!! i thought of going on with the relationship... i thought of trying a relationship w/o feelings... (it may sound bad, but hey, at least im not having an affair w/ other guys or playing with their feelings) try ko lang ba kung may mangyayari... if it will work. i want to feel what other people feels when they get into a "sudden" relationship. i want to know kung may magbbloom ba... i want to know kung magtatagal ba... i want to know kung mas magwowork ba... i just want to know.

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i tried my very best to be a good gf... i texted him day and night. i've tried being sweet, to be caring. i tried loving him... pero sad to say... walang nagbloom, walang nangyari. walang love na naramdaman.

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beep, beep!!

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then i realized... hindi talaga ako toh. i can't do this anymore!! i can't do what other people can... i can't commit into relationship na walang feelings. i have to stop this.

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STOP!!!

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so, aun nga, i broke up with him... i told him that i can't go on anymore...

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as of now we're friends... =)

.

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lessons learned...

1. if you don't have feelings for a person, don't offer anything but friendship. just friendship.

2. don't be such a jerk trying to experience things with VERY OBVIOUS OUTCOMES.

3. if there's no love, don't insist on going on with it...

4. if its not you... don't do it. (gets nyo?!)

5. HUWAG I COMPROMISE ANG SARILI DAHIL SA HIYA!!!

6. trying to fall inlove in a wrong way is BAD FOR YOUR HEALTH!! VERY BAD!!!

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notice to the public:

all situations that you think is the same as yours, pardon me, nakikiexperience lang. wehehehe. please, don't ever think that im in for a game...

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i'm still the same person who's been waiting for my landon carter to come...

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i firmly believe that you cannot really force yourself to love someone...

.

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"Don't search for love, let love search for you...

that's why it is called falling inlove, 'cause you don't actually force yourself to love.

YOU JUST FALL."

bad mood, bad day...

wow!! BER month na... Christmas is in the air... start na ng countdown!! saya!!
---
yeah, ryt?! i told myself. ang pangit ng start ng ber month ko... i woke up yesterday morning feeling uneasy. bad day!!!

as usual... im late. (naguguilty na ko.. pero ganun pa din. sorry po ulit Lord).

i had a meeting with my youth friends... mga pasaway sila... sabayan pa ng bad/guilty day ko. aun, naging taray moment ko tuloy ung meeting... (sorry sa mga natarayan ko.) ang meeting ay meeting... dapat magseryoso!!

i cooked food for lunch... then i fell asleep...

my sister woke me up...
khean: ate, si tito tumawag, pumunta daw tau sa birthday ni lolo. (my parents' wedding godfather). galit na galit, pumunta daw tau. ateeee!!!
me: GRRRRR. kitang natutulog ako e... hamosya magalit. lakad pumunta ka!!! (sorry po, antok na antok tlga ako... at super bad mood xe tlga ko)
khean: e ayoko din pumunta!
me: e di wag ka pumunta!

*nagtext c mommy...3x
mom: parang awa nyo na pumunta kau dito...
mom: hinahanap nila kau...
mom: please, pumunta kau dito....
(hays!! napabangon ako... si mommy kasi di ko matiis!! arghhhh)

so, aun... off we go to lolo's birthday...
(inside the house)
jonelle: sino ung dumating?
jai: sina ate...
(terrace)
me: anu na ginagawa sa loob?
lynlyn: ewan... kakadating ko lang din.. patapos na ata gawain...
me: ah, ok.
lynlyn: alam mo ba si ano.... blah bah blah..
me: oh, di nga?? blah blah...
(ate lyn 2x and i had an endless kwentuhan... kamusta nmn un?!)
daddy: greetings na... tawagin mo sina lykes...
jai: (silip sa labas) ate, i-greet nyo daw si lolo.
elmer: mam lykes, pasok daw kau....
flor: mam, greet daw kau.
me: sige wag na ko...
lynlyn: d2 lang kami sa labas...
me: ikaw na lang khean
khean: ayoko nga!!
me: bilis na bati na!! dali na!!
khean: (silip sa loob) Lo, happy birthday!

...happy birthday to you.... (people singing)

LOLO HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!!

biboy: ate, halika dito...
me: bakit?
biboy: galit si tatay... hehehe
lykes: oo nga e, hamosya, di ako natatakot. (tapang ko noh?!) hahaha
biboy: ayan na si tatay.. wag ka maingay...
lykes: wag ka magalala...
biboy: sige, te, alis na ko!! wahahaha (sabay sibat ng mabilis andyan na si tito!!)

eating time...
afritada, rice, spaghetti, & violet na puto... (SARAP)

jonelle: badtrip ka tlga ngaun noh?!
noemi: tignan mo mukha... hahaha
me: OO!! penge tubig! (hahahaha)
zundae: ate, picture!!!
me: (SMILE!!) wahaha

wala lang... wehehe. sencia na... taray effect talaga ko kahapon... dami nadamay... wehehe. oh, well, kilala nyo naman ako... nagtataray pero nakatawa pa rin.. =) =) =)
sorry po lo, wala po akong intensyon na kahit ano, bad mood lang tlga... HAPPY BIRTHDAY PO!!!


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after the party, i went home and watched spiderman 2... and i got 2 quotable quotes from that movie...

"love should never be a secret. if you keep something as complicated as love stored inside, it makes you sick."

- dr. otto octavious

.

"sometimes to do whats right, we have to be steady and give up the things we want the most, even our dreams. "

-aunt may parker

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i watched the "hero" last nyt... ok pla 2ng movie na 2... astig ung story... basta ASTIG!!


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i'm getting tired of waiting....