depressed ako...

tic toc tic toc...

hahaha. yan ung sounds ko kanina...

bwisit!!! galing akong moa kanina at pagdating ko ng bahay im suffering from the so called "depression." ewan. pero naiinis ako, at naiinis ako sa nararamdaman ko. it hurts to know that he loves someone else. i don't know where it came from, the feeling is so sudden, unexpected. pero un talga ung bigla kong naramdaman. to the extent na naiiyak ako.... bwisit! tama ba yun?! cge, i admit, may nararamdaman ako sa kanya, i like him pero alam ko kung saan ako lulugar kaya i tried not to push thru with the feelings... kaya bakit ganto??!! RAWR.

tic toc tic toc

------------------------------------------
i think i miss loving someone.
-----------------------------------------
ang gulo gulo ng isip ko.
-----------------------------------------
sana wag nya tong mabasa... kundi deadz ako. hahaha

.

.

ps:

nafigure out ko na toh. =)

IT'S NOT LOVE!!!

reCOLLECTING memories.

Recollection....

ang model ko, si anne.

.

.
-we went to Tagaste

.

whew. dami nangyari dito, grabe. to make the story short, we had a speaker who discussed about being Christ-centered individual. tapos may pinagawang activity, ayoko sanang sumali kaya lang pinilit ako, at nagpapilit naman ako. kaya aun, afterwards, may mga teary eyes na kami. haha. bakit? kasi ung mga may mga kasamaan ng loob e nagusap at nagkaayos. like ung sa akin, we(pao & I) cleared the miscommunication that had happen between us. ok nman talaga kasi kami kaya lang may pakialamera. nweiz, we settled the past arguments, nilinaw ang lahat at aun, boom!! (OK NA KAMI), we hugged each other, namiss ko yata ang makatawanan at makausap sya. =) pero syempre there are some na hindi talaga kayang ayusin ng isang simpleng recollection. let's just say, some of us were not ready to forget at that moment. i have to admit, i'm one of them. masyadong masakit yung ginawa nya sa akin... and talking to her about forgiveness and friendship. malabong mangyari. magiging plastik ako kung gagawin ko yun.

.

p.s:

ang cute nung dog na si charles... diba muy?! =)
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Figaro....

which one do you think is mine??

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-coffee break with anne & d'PPG. i tried cappuccino frost.

.

PPG, which stands for Power Puff Girls, namely, raqz, muy & ochie. we stayed there in figaro while waiting for our sundo. haha. =) kakahiya naman tumambay lang, kaya anne & i decided to buy something. kaya aun, napilitan akong bumili ng figaro frost... bumili rin pala sina ochie & muy. nakitable na rin kami sa kanila. (pangit ng term) haha. hays, oozing ang prize. haha pero ok lang, at least naexperience kong pumunta sa figaro sa tagaytay. hahaha. nu pa ba? nameet ko si kc (tama ba?) ung kalove team ni raqs. haha.

.

p.s:

i actually told anne that we should go to starbucks, its just across the street, e makulit ang lola ko!! =) tapos sa huli nagsisi, dapat daw nagstarbucks kami. kulit diba?! haha.

.

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Joy Ride at Tagaytay....

.

6:30 pm pa lang yan. look how dark it is. napakafoggy talga...

.

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-Jp, K'egay, Onnie, Anne & Len... it was really foggy up there!!
.

so, aun, our sundo arrived. dark green car. wala lang. haha. i wasn't expecting to see onnie's gf, len. both anne & i thinks that she is seemingly weird, though it was nice meeting her. nweiz, we headed right away to picnic groove. we had a hard time reaching the place because of the fog. it was really cold, damn cold.

.

CLOSED!!!

.

putek. sarado!!!! hahaha. tama ba yun! it was only 6:30pm tapos sarado na. grrr. talking about the intense happiness kasi tatambay kami sabay biglang laglag kasi sarado. hahaha.

.

nagyakag na lang ako sa nearest fastfood kasi i need to "pee". hahaha. loka. nweiz, d2 ko naprove na she is weird... pati ba naman pagbili ng pagkain kailangan pang ipagpaalam kasi baka daw pagalitan sya. etc. etc. (sori, lotie, but she really is weird) (agree ka anne?) *wink*. after that, punta naman kami sa may starbucks, dun sa likod, stargazing kahit wala namang stars. palipas oras. then anne realized that we should have bought our drinks in starbucks instead sa figaro. ayaw kasi maniwala sa kin. too late. said na ang anda!! =(

.

aun, after quite sometime nagkayakagan ng umuwi... siksikan kami sa car. weh, hina ng pakiramdam nung gurl!! ASAR!!

.

p.s:

i get it, she's only 16.

lykah d unLYKAHble

upadating updatig....

pressured ako...

--late update na toh... waaaaaaaaah.

bakit nga ba ko pressured nung time na toh?? mmm....

aun!! i remember. umiyak pa nga ako nang araw na toh. i cried because of too much pressure. organizer, president, conductress, coordinator, student at human. kamusta naman ang life ko diba?!
.
pero eto talaga ang nakaputol sa super haba kong pisi at napakagandang ngiti.. ehem!! =)
i got pissed-off dun sa isang oldie. (actually, matagal na akong asar dito, kasi sobra talga ang bibig.) unintentional or not, it was really rude for someone like her to say things that can hurt other people infront of everbody. oh, yes, thats what she did to me. napakataklesa ng dating. if only i wasn't in the church and my mom isn't there and taklesa ako just like her, i could have fought back. pero aun ako, in anyway possible, kinaya ko ung situation, nanahimik at dineadma. talking about being professional. bwahahaha. di ko kasi pwedeng ipakita na affected ako, ika nga, "the show must go on." kahit pa naiinis na ko.
.
pero pagalis nila at naiwan ako sa aking "circle of friends", ngalngal ako. hahaha. ang hirap pala talagang makisama ng sabay sa matatanda at bata. ang hirap gumitna, ang hirap magpasensya, ang hirap kumilos. nakakasakal. nakakapraning... i cried really hard talaga. not knowing that my dad was still there. BOOM! huli! haha. pero OK lang kasi, he gave me a pretty good advice.
.

"don't let that person get into you, its just one of those people that you will meet that will test your capabilities, your strength, your patience. kaya focus, don't mind them. show them that they can never ever let you down. show them who's the boss."

.
haha. (dinagdag ko na yung last sentence. hahaha.)
.
sabagay, tama dad ko. tama sya!!! kaya after nun, ngalngal times are over. ako ang conductress. kaya ako ang masusunod!! =)

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
although i know that waiting for you means waiting for nothing
i still i want to spend my time doing it all over again...
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

kaiBAGan

kalurkey ang mga groupmates ko... every duty week... (salamat sa trade fair, na love na love ni kabisyo...) each one of us buys a new bag. and guess what, we buy ( o bought? connect me if i'm wrong -melanie m) the same thing un nga lang in different colors. hahaha. adik.

xiao RED, muy BLUE, ycar PINK and mine's BLACK... =)

i wonder kung kanino bagay ang bag na toh.... hahaha

i love this bag talaga, kung tao lang sya... masasabihan ko sya ng "VERY WELL said" hahaha.

-0o0-

.

weeee, after all this time, FINALLY, i have this black/silver puma bag!!!! (thank you once again sa trade fair.... )

i'm showing it off!!! haha

wala lang.... naloka lang ako. wala akong anda but still i bought this bag... bad talaga... ipinangutang ko pa yan... wehehe. by the way. 6 kaming merong ganyan sa room...

yan GREEN, raqz BROWN, muy BLUE, xiao VIOLET, ycar PINK. adik diba?! =)

nga pla, kindly visit this multiply site... according to the author i have the best bag... hahahaha. peace ycar!!!

http://yc06.multiply.com/journal/item/22

IQ test... ???

from shopz.... =)

.

i don't think this is for real... hahaha. if i am such, then why am i acting stupid?? lolzzz

.

.

at dahil dyan nasabi ni shopz na...

.

"Kaya pala di mo na matamdaan ang feeling ng mainlove

xe you're much smarter now,

and love is just a state of mind, ang sabi ng iyong subconscious... "

I hate it when shitty things happen...

'cause it brushes away my ideas...
.
making me an ill-humored person... =(
.
.
i had a bad day... i was so angry and was ready to avenge my dear lola...
.
buti nakatext ko si shopz... naging kalmado ako ng dahil sa kanya... thank you.

anu na nga bang pakiramdam ng inlove??

nyay. corny...

o well, i had this line in my mind for about a month now...
and i've been trying to remember how it feels to fall inlove.
.
.masaya.malungkot.masakit.nakakakilig... nakakamiss!! lolzzz
.
i know the feeling but i forgot how to feel it... =(
.
im holding my heart and i'm trying my very best to keep it safe. and for 5 months now i think i am doing a great job. di ko rin naman kasi maaasikaso...
.
and besides... i think i'm scared (sa wakas inadmit ko din).... scared of falling inlove with the wrong person. pero sabi ko nga sa sarili ko, tanga ko, kasi nga diba i've been wondering how it feels to be inlove again kaso ako naman tong pilit na lumalayo para maramdaman ko un. stupid diba?!
.
nalabuan daw si shopz sa kin... parang gusto ko daw na ayaw... o well, gusto ko un maramdaman, kung pwede nga lang ung tipong ako lang magisa... kaso parang di ko din un mafifeel fully kasi ako lang magisa... hays, so sad. pati ako nalalabuan na....

Nakakamiss magBLOG!!

for the mean time, e2 muna....

HI kay shopz... cencia na di ako nakakatext... miss na kita kausap sobra!!! hope ur ok=)

HI kay muy, kasawa!! JOKE!! kita kits sa skul bukas, un e kung di ako aabsent... lolzzz haha. dala ka daw pancake sabi ni anne... magdadala kasi sya ng choco syrup.

HI kay kitel... hoi brukz... kelan ka nga ba pupunta??? magtext ka lang kapag may kailangan ka... wag lang pera... wahahaha


at sa iba na nakakakita nito... magHI naman kayo sa chatbox para alam kong nageexist kau... rock on!!

--0o0--

.

my very first assist in the OR... =)

.

weh, lakas ng loob ko dito. ung crush ko kasi na anesthesiologist ang doctor. ang ganda ganda talga nung ilong nya, ang tangos!!!! sabi ni muy he looks like jiampong daw.. hahaha.

.

super saya grabe... twins ung baby nung pinaanak nmin. CS with BTL. feeling ko nurse na tlga ko. =) unforgettable experience tlga.
wala akong naramdaman na pressure, or whatsoever, as in!!! ang babait kasi nung mga nurse eventhough merong isa na masungit. hay basta, super SAYA ng feeling!!! =)

i want to do it again!!!! sabi ni xiao, para na kong si raymond... gusto e parating ako na lang... wehehehe. "di nmn"!!

Fever FEVER!!

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lagnat, ubo & sipon + hada = BED REST ng 5 Days... ASAR!!
.

epekto ng may sakit.... =)

.

nagpicture picture ako kasi, bored na bored na ko... e2 lang yung time na narealize ko na, "nakakapagod pala magpahinga" hahaha. pero di nga, promise, iba pala tlga ang feeling kapag BUM ka... napakahelpless. ang pangit ng feeling...

.

habanag nakaratay ako sa kama e2 ang listahan ng mga ginawa ko:

1. nagutos ng nagutos na para akong baldado

2. nakapag linis pa ko ng nails.

3. naka french tip ang nails ko... galeng noh?!

4. nagpicture picture... kunwari nirape ako... or nabugbog ang effect

5. namomroblema kasi ayaw bumaba ang lagnat ko e may gala ako sa gabi. may concert akong pupuntahan.

6. kinulit ko ng todo ang mommy ko... gusto ko kasing maligo...

7. patakas akong nagsurf sa net... nagsims na din. =)

.

yan lang ang mga ginawa ko... nakakalungkot diba?! and to make it worse nangyari lahat yan habang dapat ineenjoy ko ang 2 weeks sembreak ko. hmmmp!

.

.
---o0o---o0o---
.
nakakatuwa magpakilig si God... SAKTO parati!!!! hehehe
.

bait nga tlga ni God... as what i have said... bored na bored ako.. at SAKTO!! nagtext ang cute cutan kong crush. kaya lang malungkot sya pero ok lang at least dalawa na kami. nyahaha.

basta kinilig ako kanina, (parang grade 2 lang). un na yun!

the spotlight hates you now!!

my babies... and of corz, Chuckie!!!
.

ATTENTION:

just in case, you have spotted a bigger piggy bank (just like d other 2 above) kindly contact me immediately!!! Thank you!!! =)
.
.
.
---o0o---o0o---
.

nakarinig nanaman ako ng isang tsismis about me,
"kahit daw poste papatulan ko...."
matagal na syang chika pero ngaun lang nakarating sa kin... salamat sa mga taong nagsabi... =) na-aappriciate ko ang pagsabi nyo ng tungkol dyan sa akin... at salamat dahil pinagtatanggol nyo ko.=)
at pasalamat ka *bitch* at ngaun lang nakarating sa kin yung tungkol dyan kasi kung dati pa... di ako mangingiming patulan ka!!! below the belt ka na masyado...
.
for your information, dapat sabihin mo yan sa mga kaibigan mo...
dahil kung parumihan ng pagkatao ang paguusapan, mas madumi kayo kaysa sa akin. mas marumi kayo kumpara sa aming lahat na sinisiraan nyo. isa ka talagang napakawalang kwentang tao. naaawa ako sa nangyayari sa buhay mo... lahat na lang ng tao ginagawan mo ng kwento. nakakaawa ka!!! too bad, wala ng may gustong makipagkaibigan sayo dahil alam na ng lahat kung anong klase kang tao. magbagong buhay ka na... tumatanda ka ng paurong...
.
sayang, i have respected you and considered you as a close friend pa naman, but what have you done?! Backstabbing every one of us. starting all the rumors about me and my friends. what can you get from that?? NOTHING!!! kaya kung pwede itikom mo na yang bibig mo...
I PITY YOU SO MUCH! i will keep on praying for you, para maliwanagan ang isip mo.
(i do hope you can actually read this...)

.
.
---o0o---o0o---o0o---
.
"be pityful to those who live their lives mocking other people.
because those people are alone & sad,
lacks guidance,
has no moral values
&
most of all they are insecure."
.
.
---o0o---0o0---
.
forgive me for the bitterness that i have shown... it was a very immature display of feelings. it just so happen na di ko na tlga maitago ang hurt na nararamdaman ko... this is not very me, talking shit about someone, writing about the anger that i have kept inside. naiinis lang tlga ako sa fact na she was (once) my friend.

BUS RIDE thoughts... (repost)

sometimes i like the idea of being alone because...
it is the only time wherein i can be sad.
it is the only time that i can cry my heart out.
it reminds me of reality.
it reminds me of who i really am.
it reminds me that in the end the only one left is just "me".

its the only time that i can be the "real me"...
(redundancy???)

--- * --- * ---


i don't exactly know the reason why i exist...
all i know is that i live in this world trying to cope up with life...
trying to protect the people i love...
trying to forgive the people who broke my heart...
trying to survive the struggles that i have right now...
trying to forget the past and not to be peevish with it.
trying to put my dreams into reality...
trying to enjoy everything that i have right now...
trying to open my heart again...

im just trying to be myself, trying to live life and be happy.

pop ups! BUM

hala... i want to write something kaya lang iba't ibang mga things ang nagppop sa utak ko... certain topics... thoughts... hays... so many things to write about. kaya lang dunno where to start, so i have decided, there will be no certain topics... just thoughts, parang pop-ups!!!
.
.
---sorry, but recently i find some men as papansin, particularly this person who keeps on saying "please reply."
---my hearts having a difficulty smiling... heart beating??? hays...
---nosebleed katext si shops... i always need a dictionary beside me.
---naalala ko si jeypz, sad sya ngaun.
---naalala ko si kitz, hays, i hope i can see their booth.
---long quiz tom. NCM... shit, i have to study. karir mode dapat.
---may play bukas... oh no!! kailangan ko tuloy kausapin ang mga backstabber.
.
*currently listening to "Mata" by Mojofly
.
---"kamusta na, nandyan ka pa ba??" -a line from the song mata by mojofly
---mr. right!!! asan ka na ba???
---magloload ba ko o hindi...
.
*hikab....* antok na ata ako....
*hikab ulit... *
.
---nasesenti mode ako...
---ayun, naalala ko... mas trip ko talaga ang mga alternative & rock songs...
.
*hikab...*
.
---i feel like a jerk writing about the things thats been popping inside my head.
---BUM
---feeling ko pinagttripan lang ako ng friend ni vard.
---my eye is itchy.
---i hate backstabbers.... waaaaaaaah. puro na lang mga backstabber nasa isip ko.
---5 na ang paolo na kilala ko, bukod sa 4 na artista.
---wrap up, wrap, wrap up...
.
*currently listening to "If We Fall In Love" by Yeng & RJ
.
---"if we fall inlove" .... hays... this song makes me sad.
---aw.... now i'm thinking of writing a blog about this song.
.
There will be no ordinary days for you
‘Cause there is someone that cares like I do
You will have no reason to be sad anymore
I am always ready with a smile
With just one glimpse of you
.
You don’t have to search no more
‘Cause I am someone who will love you for sure <--- love this line!!!
So if we fall in love maybe we’ll sing this song as one
If we fall in love we can write a better song than this
If we fall in love we will have that melody in our head
If we fall in love anywhere with you would be a better place
.
You can watch that movie in a different light
I will be right there beside you hugging you oh so tight
How can love feels so cold and empty again
And I will keep on holding on and won’t let go
Feel so good when you’re around
One smile from you and I just feel so bright
.
.
*currently listening to "If You're Gone" by rob thomas
.
---grrr... i just remembered someone... he made me sad!!!
---im out!! nawalan na ko ng gana.

FREE spa treatments!!!

---for Oct. 3, 2007

promoting

"NURTURE SPA"

located at Tagaytay City

waiting area...

.

FINALLY, natuloy din ang free spa!!! weeeeee. yeah, you've read it right... free spa!!! weeee. courtesy of my super mabait na friend. thanks Jhun!!!

he's been inviting me last sept. pa, but sad to say fully booked ang sked ko, kaya eto, a month after natuloy din... =) the best relaxation technique, whole body massage called "Aruga", foot spa (astig, our feet was wrapped in banana leaves... parang suman lang! haha) and "Marikit" facial. my mom, anne and i had a great time, sobra!! meron dapat body scrub, kaya lang gabi na.... SAYANG!!! hahaha.

jhun, THANK YOU THANK YOU!! sa uulitin!! haha.

muy... peace tayo!! biglaan un e... tsaka kulang powerpuff pagnagkataon.. hehe.

-0o0-

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Foot Spa pictures...

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me & my mom...

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anne. =)

puro footspa pics lang.... censored na kasi kapag kasama ung during the massage... hahaha

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for more pix's visit http://chixzy.multiply.com/

.

.

-0o0-

.

quotable quote...

.

"Letting go is like getting a tooth pulled out by a dentist...

.

Pull it out, you're relieved. But how many times does your tongue run itself over the spot where the tooth once was? probably, a hundred times a day. just becacuase it's not hurting it doesn't mean you don't notice it. it leaves a gap & sometimes you see yourself missing it terribly.

.

should you have kept the tooth instead? Nah, because it was causing you so much pain."

love stored inside can make you sick!!

it is true.. ABSOLUTELY TRUE!!!

so, why keep it when you actually have all the chance in the world to let him/her know your true feelings?!?!

be proud of the love that you have inside!!!

keeping it, will do you no good. admitting it though may not do you any good, because of rejection, but at least the what ifs will be answered and at the same time you became true to yourself.

being rejected may be hard to accept, but it is much harder living your life knowing that you have all the chance in the world but you just blew it, that you just trashed it because you're too scared. tapos malalaman mo in d future na at that very moment he/she feels the same way about you. AW. ang saklap!! parang dinurog ang puso mo... mamatay matay ka sa kakatanggi at kakatago tapos mahal ka din pala niya!! RAWR!!

(laters!! gutom na ko... haha)

San Lazaro.... rawr!!

sincere 2 (not sure kung 2 nga... hehe)

Thank you sa Sincere 2 & 3 and kay Ma'am Barron!!
.


thanks to d ff:
Ineng, TP, Rowie, Nino, Jeff, Rina, Marg, Girlie, Jem, Jamie, Cassy
.
I had so much fun... Never had a moment of loneliness with you guys. You never made me feel that i was just a free lancer. hehe. love ko na kayo! naks! (hehehe. love ko pa rin syempre ung KALAHATI ng Loyal 3)

watch out for more details...!!!

Church Anniversaries... (San Antonio & Santol)

"Give a little love & it all comes back to you...

we're all goin' to be remembered for the things we SAY and DO."

-coke

our so called... "musical instruments"

.

hahaha. i had fun blowing the coke bottles... i always thought it was kind of silly but i still did it, and i actually had so much fun.

.

we did this "bottle blowing" (as ralph called it) during the talentong kristiyano... we played "Tayo Sana'y Manatili." and we did it for the glory of the Lord.

.

it was a new experience for all of us. At first we had a hard time producing sounds... ika nga, "practice makes perfect" and aun... tadah!! kahit saan kami mapunta basta may bote, sige ihip!! hahaha. na-adik na!! we are actually planning on doing it again on our church anniversary this coming december, kaya WATCH OUT!!

.

taken @ Santol COC... its the Church 19th Anniversary... f8's not in d pic.

.

MY BLOWMATES (huh???) ARE:

DO & FA --> Gracelyn

RE & SOL --> Ayie

MI & higher MI --> Rica

LA & higher RE --> Meeeh

TI --> Biboy

higher DO --> Faith

higher DO sub. --> Jonelle

. HAPPY 19th ANNIVERSARY SANTOL CHURCH of CHRIST

.

the word CHRIST in the picture was spelled out with hands... lots of hands



(too busy to post...)

more details... coming up!! hehe

visas... visas..VISAS!!

the other day... i was so busy... pero isa lang ang nakapagpatumba sa kin. ang movie na Armageddon. this movie never fails to make me cry... /sob.

the funny thing is, i just realized that i always wish the same thing after seeing this movie...

"I wish to have someone watching armageddon beside me."

it may sound shallow but what i really meant by those words are...
" i wish to have someone whom i can cry my heart out. someone who will not leave my side and watch me until i fall asleep. someone who doesn't want to close his eyes because he doesn't want to miss anything." (shallow pa din)

parang kanta lang... yeah, yeah. kanta nga!! this movie made me love aerosmiths
"I Don't Want To Miss A Thing" (no further explanations... its obvious why!)

putchang movie toh! everytime i finished watching it, it always makes me long to have someone. kaya lang syempre, erase, erase, erase. bad idea!! hadlang sa mga pangarap ko!! (nyay!! JOKE! hahaha) hays... ganda tlga ng cleft chin ni Ben Affleck!

.

.

-=0o0=-

.

i wish someone, just one, in this world will be able to understand how i feel...

someone who will comfort me...

someone who will make me feel pure bliss...

someone who will give me importance...

someone who is willing to give the time just to be with me...

someone who will love me as me...

.

i wish that, that someone exists...

.

.

(ang labo ko!!! contradicting mga pinagsasasabi ko!!!) haha

.
------
im done denying visas... not really!
im done applying... i really haven't done that.
im done processing papers... im not having fun processing it!
im done reconsidering denied visas... il just deny it all over again.
incomplete papers... go home!!
former immigrants... try again later.
tnt's... dont try again.
interested applicants... make sure your papers are complete.

SELL yourself!! CONVINCE me that your an ASSET to my heart. aw!!

.

.

.

-=0o0=-

.

"One cannot question the existence of feelings.

they are there, raw and undeniable.

But one can choose not to nurture what is felt.

yet, no matter what they say,

what has been felt will always be more honest than what was chosen.

hence, true realities are not built by the mind but by the heart.

so if you're caught between what your mind thinks is right and what your heart feels is right, it is always safer to follow your heart... "

.

-inday

trial and error...lessons learned.

as promised, here's the story of the story that should not have been told. wehehehe

---
i've been single for a bout a year and a half now. never had a bf. (when i say bf it means, legal bf. haha) but i did have this relationship with a guy...

i met im him in a funeral. (astig! haha) we have this common friend. so basically, we ended up being friends, too... we became close. like most friends do, we had our outing (kelangan isingit tong outing na toh, need sa story. haha) .people noticed our closeness and started teasing us. they thought that we are a couple.

2 weeks after the outing...
friend1: kelan naging kau?
me: huh? di nmn kami e.
friend1: ows?? kelan nga?
me: di nga, tanungin mo pa sya.
friend1: kelan naging kayo?
guy: nun 15 (it was d date of the outing)
friend1: 15 pala naging kayo e. hahaha
me: huh? 15? ah, ok.(count d "ah, ok") cge 15. hahaha

i did not take it seriously... (kitam my haha). for me, it was a typical joke time day of the tropa. naki-ride na lang ako...

a week after...
friend2:kau na pla e noh...
me: (iling...)
guy: oo
friend2: nu date nyo?
guy: 15.
me: 15? as in april 15? 3 weeks na tau?? hahaha.
guy: oo.
me: ganun? ah, ok. (2) hahaha

again... i didn't not take it seriously... i just laughed.

friend3(common friend): kau na pla e noh...
me: oo, daw. nagulat na lang ako e.
friend3: hamo na sya. gusto ka nmn talga nun...
me: eh, joke time lang nmn un diba?!

friend3: sineryoso ata, tuwang tuwa e.

me: ah, anu yon. instant bf?? hindi ako ganun e.
friend3: pagbigyan mo na muna... try mo kung may mangyayari. kapag wala edi ibreak mo.
me: ganun? e hindi talaga ako ganun...

friend3: laki ng pinagbago nun... pagbigyan mo na.

me: (isip) ah, ok.(3) wehehehe...

.
.
it was may 14, i had a party at home. we talked...
me:uhm, talaga bang 1 month na tau bukas? (super wondering)
guy: oo. (smile)
me: ahhh, ok. (4)

a that moment... i realized that i was in a relationship that i never planned of having. i was in a very unfamiliar situation. having a relationship without courtship, without anything... without feelings... (although crush ko sya, still, it wasn't enough.) it's not me. NOT ME!!!
.

GO!

.
ok!! an idea popped out of my head. "why not try something i 've never done my whole life" since im single, cge na nga!! i thought of going on with the relationship... i thought of trying a relationship w/o feelings... (it may sound bad, but hey, at least im not having an affair w/ other guys or playing with their feelings) try ko lang ba kung may mangyayari... if it will work. i want to feel what other people feels when they get into a "sudden" relationship. i want to know kung may magbbloom ba... i want to know kung magtatagal ba... i want to know kung mas magwowork ba... i just want to know.

.

i tried my very best to be a good gf... i texted him day and night. i've tried being sweet, to be caring. i tried loving him... pero sad to say... walang nagbloom, walang nangyari. walang love na naramdaman.

.

beep, beep!!

.

then i realized... hindi talaga ako toh. i can't do this anymore!! i can't do what other people can... i can't commit into relationship na walang feelings. i have to stop this.

.

STOP!!!

.

so, aun nga, i broke up with him... i told him that i can't go on anymore...

.

as of now we're friends... =)

.

.

lessons learned...

1. if you don't have feelings for a person, don't offer anything but friendship. just friendship.

2. don't be such a jerk trying to experience things with VERY OBVIOUS OUTCOMES.

3. if there's no love, don't insist on going on with it...

4. if its not you... don't do it. (gets nyo?!)

5. HUWAG I COMPROMISE ANG SARILI DAHIL SA HIYA!!!

6. trying to fall inlove in a wrong way is BAD FOR YOUR HEALTH!! VERY BAD!!!

.

.

.

.

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notice to the public:

all situations that you think is the same as yours, pardon me, nakikiexperience lang. wehehehe. please, don't ever think that im in for a game...

.

i'm still the same person who's been waiting for my landon carter to come...

.

i firmly believe that you cannot really force yourself to love someone...

.

.

"Don't search for love, let love search for you...

that's why it is called falling inlove, 'cause you don't actually force yourself to love.

YOU JUST FALL."

bad mood, bad day...

wow!! BER month na... Christmas is in the air... start na ng countdown!! saya!!
---
yeah, ryt?! i told myself. ang pangit ng start ng ber month ko... i woke up yesterday morning feeling uneasy. bad day!!!

as usual... im late. (naguguilty na ko.. pero ganun pa din. sorry po ulit Lord).

i had a meeting with my youth friends... mga pasaway sila... sabayan pa ng bad/guilty day ko. aun, naging taray moment ko tuloy ung meeting... (sorry sa mga natarayan ko.) ang meeting ay meeting... dapat magseryoso!!

i cooked food for lunch... then i fell asleep...

my sister woke me up...
khean: ate, si tito tumawag, pumunta daw tau sa birthday ni lolo. (my parents' wedding godfather). galit na galit, pumunta daw tau. ateeee!!!
me: GRRRRR. kitang natutulog ako e... hamosya magalit. lakad pumunta ka!!! (sorry po, antok na antok tlga ako... at super bad mood xe tlga ko)
khean: e ayoko din pumunta!
me: e di wag ka pumunta!

*nagtext c mommy...3x
mom: parang awa nyo na pumunta kau dito...
mom: hinahanap nila kau...
mom: please, pumunta kau dito....
(hays!! napabangon ako... si mommy kasi di ko matiis!! arghhhh)

so, aun... off we go to lolo's birthday...
(inside the house)
jonelle: sino ung dumating?
jai: sina ate...
(terrace)
me: anu na ginagawa sa loob?
lynlyn: ewan... kakadating ko lang din.. patapos na ata gawain...
me: ah, ok.
lynlyn: alam mo ba si ano.... blah bah blah..
me: oh, di nga?? blah blah...
(ate lyn 2x and i had an endless kwentuhan... kamusta nmn un?!)
daddy: greetings na... tawagin mo sina lykes...
jai: (silip sa labas) ate, i-greet nyo daw si lolo.
elmer: mam lykes, pasok daw kau....
flor: mam, greet daw kau.
me: sige wag na ko...
lynlyn: d2 lang kami sa labas...
me: ikaw na lang khean
khean: ayoko nga!!
me: bilis na bati na!! dali na!!
khean: (silip sa loob) Lo, happy birthday!

...happy birthday to you.... (people singing)

LOLO HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!!

biboy: ate, halika dito...
me: bakit?
biboy: galit si tatay... hehehe
lykes: oo nga e, hamosya, di ako natatakot. (tapang ko noh?!) hahaha
biboy: ayan na si tatay.. wag ka maingay...
lykes: wag ka magalala...
biboy: sige, te, alis na ko!! wahahaha (sabay sibat ng mabilis andyan na si tito!!)

eating time...
afritada, rice, spaghetti, & violet na puto... (SARAP)

jonelle: badtrip ka tlga ngaun noh?!
noemi: tignan mo mukha... hahaha
me: OO!! penge tubig! (hahahaha)
zundae: ate, picture!!!
me: (SMILE!!) wahaha

wala lang... wehehe. sencia na... taray effect talaga ko kahapon... dami nadamay... wehehe. oh, well, kilala nyo naman ako... nagtataray pero nakatawa pa rin.. =) =) =)
sorry po lo, wala po akong intensyon na kahit ano, bad mood lang tlga... HAPPY BIRTHDAY PO!!!


---
after the party, i went home and watched spiderman 2... and i got 2 quotable quotes from that movie...

"love should never be a secret. if you keep something as complicated as love stored inside, it makes you sick."

- dr. otto octavious

.

"sometimes to do whats right, we have to be steady and give up the things we want the most, even our dreams. "

-aunt may parker

---
i watched the "hero" last nyt... ok pla 2ng movie na 2... astig ung story... basta ASTIG!!


---
i'm getting tired of waiting....

movie trip....!!

my post is late again!! grrr....

---for aug. 27 - 28, 2007
sarap ng life two days walang pasok... monday, national heroes day. tuesday, st. augustine day!! walang andah kaya tambay lang sa house.

i buried myself watching movies...
1. The Hills Have Eyes 1
2. The Hills Have Eyes 2
3. Spiderman 1
4. A Walk To Remember

most likely movie review ang gagawin ko... so, kamusta nmn un diba?!

1. The Hills Have Eyes 1
--this film is eikiee... its all about people having genetic problems due to nuclear weapons. they have abnormalities and they became cannibals.... uhm. this movie is a suspense-thriller. grabe, ang sarap magulat (magugulatin kasi ako...), and sarap umirit (maingay kasi ako), at ang sarap madiri(kumakain kasi ako)... imagine a monster-like person kissing ur body! ok!! kadiri.. hahaha. so far, this movie's nice. astig si doug d2, parang man of steel, bugbog sarado na... buhay pa din at nananapak!! parang di human... hahaha.

.
.

2. The Hills Have Eyes 2
---this one's less eikiee, less thrilling. i prefer the first movie... (mom agreed). the eikieest part would be the part wherein the girl was raped by the so called "creatures in the mine". disgusting ung part na kung saan the girl bit off the creatures tongue... nweiz, the films ok, just an OK rating.
.

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3. Spiderman 1
---i love this movie. wala lang... iba tlga ang hatak ng mga part 1 movies. "the how it all started" thingy... the start of things hanggang sa magkaroon ng mga part 2 etc. kakagulat tlga d2 si Toby, i always thought that he looks skinny and funny. pero in this movie, wow!! hahaha. ok, so far, this is a lovable movie, ganda. thumbs up sa effects!! the spider moves?? nice one!!

" With great powers comes great responsibility..."

-uncle ben parker

.
.
4. A Walk To Remember...

--finally, here's my review for a walk to remember! =) i've been liking this movie alot. mandy moore was good in her acting and shane west, too. a preachers daugther and a cool guy, falling inlove with each other... (i missed falling inlove, nyay!!!) i liked the part wherein shane west cried and hugged his father. nakakadala ung iyak nya, nagkasipon tuloy ako!! "manly and dating". shet! haha. bilib tlga ko sa lalaking umiiyak... realistic ung pagiyak nya... nweiz, enough of his crying scene... so far, for me, wala pa ring makakatalo sa love story na toh. hahaha. two thumbs up!! hays, napapawish nnmn ako na sana, someday i will find my landon carter... unconditional love... a guy who will do anything just to make me happy and make me feel loved. (dadating ka pa kaya?)

.

"Love is like the wind. You can't see it but you can feel it."

- Landon Carter

CYF barkada...

i woke up early today... but still i arrived late in the church (sorry po Lord).

we had our joint fellowship with pascam Church. i'm very happy kasi daming umattend...

pose muna bago umalis...

.

.

off we go... ooops... pose ulit pla muna!!

---

i saw someone today. i looked into his eyes and there i saw love... love that should have been seen before not after the goodbyes, love that should have been given before ending up the story. its too late! but then again, it doesn't matter anymore...

---

me, faith, ralph, rica & jireh went to Red Ribbon's Bacao and ate dinner... and there i saw a couple, so sweet. i always imagined myself with that kind of relationship. inseparable.

---

COMMERCIAL...

(at mirc undernet #lounge)
shopi--> oo nga, maganda yang si chix. kumbaga sa karneng baboy, may tatak ng pagkasuri yan ng bfad
* `chix bugbog shopi!!!!!!!!!
woody`--> uyy
woody`--> babuy ba si kras eJ?
woody`--> nde naman babuy yan ah

***hindi ako baboy!! sexy akO!!! (hahahaha)

------

an endless wait... all because of you....

------

"If you are so much focused with whats left behind, you might not be able to see what lies ahead..."

-Chef Gusteau (Ratatouille)

"sum" happenings...

hays, putek... i'm not in the mood rigth now. im tired. pero sige post pa din ako... (bear with me if this post turns out to be boring... )

**i'm listening to garbage's... "i think i'm paranoid"
.
happenings?? ano nga ba....

> si xiao sinapak si **rb*. twice!!. astig!!
(makakating dila... dapat ng magtanda. huwag pagusapan ang mga di dapat pagusapan. STOP!! being a tsismosa)
> may araw din kayo, lahat kayo mga tsismosa kau!!!
> typhoon egay!! (thanks for the pre-sembreak experience!!)
> drown myself watching movies... 3 movies na paulit ulit...
> senyorita absenot! as usual... (sorry po mommy... liars go to hell. (ouch!))
> been doing some health teachings during our duty week... ( the puto was delicious!! yum!!)
> met ralph (tores?)...(ur nice) ... my english came alive again!! hahaha
.
**i'm listening to gagong rappers'... "kabet"
.
> went to the market w/ faith... i helped her finish her school project.
> i went to SM Dasma after duty, to eat and to print pix... (i have nothing to do at home.) and bought a rice cooker w/ mom...
> my printers broken... badtrip!!
> i was a pessimist this past few days... (optimism wer r u?)
> my spanish & french vocabulary really sucks!!
> midterm was moved. ayos!! (thank you Lord!!)
> i saw jp... (be thankful to God at binuhay ka pa) --he just recovered from a near death accident. your so lucky, God loves you!!
.
**i'm listening to gwyneth paltrows'... "cruisin"
.
> anne had a bad news... (i just want you to know that im here... kaming friendships mo. Be strong!!)
> sabi ko kay anne, " anne, gusto ko ng magkabf" (nyek!! joke time!!)
> i saw the book entitled "the secret" (oh, my, 599!! pero buti na lang sale!! 20% off... kaya 480 na lang... kaso i still have to w8 for my allowance.... na-aatat na kong bilhin!!)
> kitel, walang andang papel puro coins lang!! hahahaha
> tin tin gave me 20 php worth of sun load, don't know why pero Thanx!!
> yahoo!! feel na feel ko na tlga ang pagiging choir conductress!! wahaha
.
**i'm listening to incubus'... "i miss you"
.
> i'm missin' someone... bwisit!!! haha



---
arghhhh... im still here... waiting... waiting.... waiting....


**i'm listening to itchyworms'... "beer"

**i'm listening to janno gibbs'... "fallin"

sad saturday...

---for Aug. 11, 2007

.
.

hays... im supposed to write a lot of things about this day... aug. 20 na ngaun kaya i have already forgotten the exact details of the events... the only thing that's clear is that this day was

a very sad day... =(

.

i attended my pharmacology class w/ dr. bucu.

i went straight to the church after class, choir practice...

took pictures with friends... i had fun.. but still i was very sad.

hiding behind the laughters.... =(

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me, eldrin & jeric

.

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takot ka ba sa dilim?!
.

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pretending we were actors....

.

more pics at http://chixzy.multiply.com/

.
im craving for a japanese sweet corn....
.

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.
.

---for Aug. 12, 2007

.
.

as far as i can remember, i had fun the whole day of Sunday. so, busy!!! i went to Church... kuya egay visited me... i cooked sweet and sour fish and fried 5 pcs. of pork, chopped... i had my pictorial, again!! haha. we had our CyF... then we went to the plaza... to unwind!!!!

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sample: i'm wearing pink!!
.

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this is what the plaza looks like...

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look at our behind... bwahaha

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----

here i am, still waiting... waiting... hope's starting to fade...

understanding a female taurus...

* MOON*

.

You love deeply... you mayflirt along and people think youre a playboy/playgirl but the truth is: your heart belongs to only one.

.

**i got this from arkhe's bulletin post in friendster...sakto lang na ang napili ko ay moon. the funny thing is medyo nakakrelate ako kasi, akala nila flirt ako pero hindi nman talga.. sakto lang tlga sa description ng moon... hahaha.

.

.

-= O o O =-

.
Taurus natives are deeply romantic and very loyal souls who value the harmony that a happy home life creates. They will go to any extremes to keep a loved one happy and no sacrifice will be too great in accomplishment of that goal. It is the nature of a Taurus individual to need the good life and that need is reflected in the desire to share such a life with someone special. In a sexual sense, Taurus is straightforward and down-to-earth. Taurus native prefers long-lasting relationships and will seek to build strong alliances. It takes a great deal to truly anger the Taurus subject who is in love, but disloyalty will usually prove to be the ultimate factor.

.

Any potential partner must be honest and upright at all times. The Taurus woman can see through a phony with her eyes closed. She must be told exactly what a partner is feeling about her and exactly what that partner wants...or does not want...in a relationship.

.

Once committed, however, she will be faithful and true since, from an early age, she is a firm believer in the "one and only" type of love. Even if this female becomes disillusioned later in life and her ideal appears to have been crushed, she will hold fast to her vision of a one mate commitment. In turn, she will demand absolute fidelity. Despite her repeated attempts to dominate, this is a woman who truly wants her partner to be her boss. however much this female likes to grumble, she secretly adores to be ruled since it makes her feel protected.

.

once a Taurus native does close his or her heart, there is very little chance that it will open up again. Most of the troubles here will emerge over jealousy, possessiveness and the inherent inability of Taurus to change in a basic fashion. Those ruled by this Sign can be immovable forces when they so desire and if they have decided they are perfectly happy with something exactly as it is, nobody can pressure them to change.

.

For a relationship to last, it will be necessary for any mate to flatter this woman in order to keep her. She also needs to be cajoled, playfully teased and constantly told that she is loved. She may not always take these things seriously, but she will relish them all the same. This is a female who abhors being taken for granted and thus, will want to hear expressions of gratitude...but above all else, this woman craves affection.

.

Romantic Style:

Affectionate - Satisfying - Can Be Generous

Taurus natives value peace, harmony and stability. They look toward the long-term rather than short-lived excitement, preferring a mate who makes them feel emotionally secure. In return, they provide plenty of affection and generosity, but are prone to be jealous and possessive of any partner. These are souls who require creature comforts in order to operate at their maximum...romantically and otherwise. Subjects of Taurus are not particularly interested in dazzling ideas. They believe in playing it steady and safe. Those governed by this Sign have an unfortunate trait of frequently becoming quickly and deeply involved with the first individual they meet who happens to capture their romantic interest.

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happy... but still waiting... patience... patience...